I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
