im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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