It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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