big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
