remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you will always have a special place in my vag
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
