The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
