Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
