oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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