I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
