Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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