Who did Billy Mays play for?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
