True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
