I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
