Who did Billy Mays play for?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
