i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize