I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
