it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Randomize
