A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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