Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
