I think my vagina is haunted
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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