Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
