How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
