Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
