oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize