fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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