That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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