I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize