Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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