How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
