the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i came on her dog
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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