he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
