fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
