I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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