I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
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