Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
