Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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