Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Jerry, you need to find god
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
