WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
