The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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