Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
