I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
