Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
