Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
