apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
