God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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