So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
