Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize