i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
