she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
