Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i now understand why vodka
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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