dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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