If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
