Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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