So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My dick has a subreddit
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
