my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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