My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
