chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
they're like a gay fantastic four
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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