A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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