I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
