Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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