Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
