considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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