and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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