For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
