Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
should my penis look like a turkey
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
