I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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