I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
