Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
